I have a copy of Dan Brown’s Act of War on my desk and off
to the side The Collected Poems of Octavio Paz. I just cannot seem to bring myself
to crack the spines on those anymore. They really are good reads and challenge
me, but I have found and even more intriguing addiction………online dating
profiles.
I am amazed at what some women will actually put to print. I
can only imagine what my brethren have spewed across the World Wide Web. Chris
Rock said it best……”Men tell more lies, women tell bigger lies.” A night out on
the town will fill you in on all the BS gents lay down in just a few hours. Here are a few of my faves:
I am a musician, so I don’t have much time for a 9-5. ~ I’m
self-employed. ~ I will rock your world.
~ I wish more women liked to just cuddle.
~ Your eyes are intoxicating. ~ Kids?? I love kids! ~ Maybe we can just take a nice relaxing walk on
the beach. ~ I’d rather be somewhere less smoky and more intimate. ~ Sure, I’ll
get you a drink….uh Robbie how much am I up to?? ~ Family is the most important
thing to me. ~ I was laid off. ~ I respect all women the same.
The list goes on and on. Now my ladies, you really lay it
on! I recognize that not all of God’s creatures are created equal however………..
I’m looking for a real man: Good thing cuz it’s doubtful
that Ken would be able to respond to your posting. Of course you are! I mean
with your weave, acrylics, colored contacts, dyed hair, breast implants, Apple
bottom jeans, Jessica stilettos, bra strap clip(if you’ve not saved enough for
that augmentation just yet), Brazilian wax, fake lashes, and glamour shots that
you had taken for no apparent reason other than to post here……..why on earth
would you want a guy that was not man enough to show you who he really is??
The most important thing in my life is my kids: I can see
that, why else would you have pics of them on a dating website? Wow, your 20
year daughter is so…….mature. Is she on this site too? C’mon ladies, are you
looking for a partner or a baby-daddy? If your kids are not your first priority
then you should not be surprised with the prize of a man that’ll most likely
land. I get that you all are a package deal, but save that shit for facebook.
God comes first in my life: I know he does. Your kids know
it too. All six of them born out of wedlock. I know that the pic of you doing
shots at the bar surrounded by all of those dudes is not an accurate portrayal
of who you are. That was just one of those crazy let my hair down days………..that
end in Y. You have beliefs, good maybe your kids will learn something from
them. However spare us the bullshit routine of being a good Christian woman if
you are not walking the walk. You might try looking for a good man at church. I
mean, I’m sure you go every week right?
So folks, I may never read a book worth a damn again. This
stuff is just too rich! I read one and just as soon as I finish it’s on to the
next one. Queue my Jay-Z exit music!
