That'll do, pig. That'll do.

What a helluva year I've had! I was hoping that the shittiness would end with 2012 but half of '13 went down the tubes as well. Well, I have accepted a position doing what I love. Selling. In an industry that I love. Aquatics. The catch? It's in Ft. Lauderdale. Yep, I'm headed to Broward county with Volusia three and a half hours in the rear view mirror. This sucks for obvious reasons. My youngins are here. It rocks because my 14 year old about to be a freshman is down there. Why does this shit have to be so difficult?? I'll be traveling back to keep my time up with the littles though. This past year a whole bunch of you have helped me keep regular visits with the kids. Some threw me cash, others made sure I had wheels to get them. You guys have gone above and beyond to help a friend in need. Julie gave me a week in the high desert to decompress, Liz said “I've got a pair of Rush tickets if you can get to St. Louis.”, Brandy showed me what Iowa was all about.........damn, I didn't know it snowed so much there! Brandi saying “I'm broke too, bitch. Let's do $.75 PBRs at Robbie's!” So many things to keep me smiling and to let me know that you all care.

There is one though that has shown me what it really means to be a friend that loves with all she has. I hit rock bottom last fall and really didn't see a way back up. I had no idea how I was going to keep moving forward and she wasn't about to let me go it alone. I had no place to go and she said “get your shit and come to my place”. No concern was expressed about the fact that I was way short on cash. Nor was there any mention of me having my crazy hellions over every other weekend. I always had access to a four wheeled vehicle if needed and never went hungry. Moral support for decisions I had to make was dished without lecturing. A shoulder always there when I was having a moment.

For those of you that know Kathy I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that this caring soul has carried me through an incredibly difficult time in my life. The dedication she shows in her support of equality for all people be they gay, straight, white, black, man or woman is not a show. This superstar really is like this all of the time!

Kathy is the big sister I never had. She has a heart that shines like few I've encountered in my life. I will still see my kids. I will be working and occupying my mind for a change. One of the biggest problems I'll face with moving to Davie will be that I won't have my best friend in my daily life anymore. That really effing blows. I love her so because she has shown me so much about caring for her fellow man. Something I look forward to in my life as I get my act together is being able to pay this forward. It would make her happy and that is important to me.

Abby says I am more brown than her.

A few years back, okay more like 45 years back, blacks in America begin using a new term to define their ethnicity. African American. There are variations on this; most notably Afro-American which has all but disappeared from normal speak. I find it difficult to recognize the reasoning behind a need to distance ourselves from the general populous at the same time we strive for equality. I have had an opportunity to set foot on the African continent and am here to tell you that I am all American! Baleeve dat.

Our country has a second term mulatto in office that African Americans are happy to claim as their own. Even though his roots show that he is not of native born black blood. The nerve of that boy. His daddy came from over there! Blacks have had so many ‘name-changes’ over the years that I expect there will be a new moniker cresting the horizon soon. Some of you may remember blacks being referred to as colored. OMGEEEE, wanna get somebody riled up, just call them colored! You will get a ration of shit that you’ll not come from under for quite some time. I find it humoring that many activists that will take insult to that are also card carrying members of the NAA’C’P. This is one of the silly tidbits that I just can’t seem to wrap my head around.

I’m often asked if I refer to myself as black or AA…….I’m going to shorten that……..and the answer is simple, I’m black. Let’s stick with the obvious. A question for all my pale friends. When is the last time a black, Asian, or Latino asked if you were white or Anglo-American? Let me be me. Big brown guy right here.

Since I’m on the color wagon why don’t we go over a few things that really chap my hide?

Q: Why is it okay for black people to call each other nigga but I can’t?

A: Why is so important for you to be able to use one of the most demoralizing slurs known in our country? I know, I know I answered with a question but that is just stupid! I don’t know why and I am black. I can’t imagine a conversation with another black that would have me freely insulting them the whole time. Sorry, no real answer there. For the excuses you may have gotten as justification to that query……well, they’re stupid too.

Q: Why don’t you act like most of the black guys I know? You are the whitest black guy I know.

A: I would usually shut you up with a smart-assed comment like “Don’t worry, I’m black where it counts” all the while thinking…..F-U! The fact that I embrace English, our country’s primary language, and utilize it to communicate with everybody around me (all while trying to maintain proper grammar) wear clothes that fit and pass on the Yo MTV Raps is an issue for you? Wow. I don’t think I could be more insulted. I’m an educated well-spoken man and you’re surprised that I can stand upright.

Q: Why do you only like white women?

A: Umm, this here brutha is EEO. I could not care less what color, race, or ethnic background a woman comes from. If you consider for a minute the things that make me the V the answer is pretty clear. I like: Reptiles, the ocean, rock classical & alternative music, giant dogs, tarantulas…..the list goes on and on. I’m sure there is a black woman out there that may fill the billet, but I’m not going on any damned expeditions to please somebody else’s idea of who I should be with.

I really wish color wasn’t an issue in day to day American life. We just not gotten there yet.